"Music is crucial. Beyond no way can I overstress this fact. Let's say you're southbound on the interstate, cruising alone in the middle lane, listening to AM radio. Up alongside comes a tractor trailer of logs or concrete pipe, a tie-down strap breaks, and the load dumps on top of your little sheetmetal ride. Crushed under a world of concrete, you're sandwiched like so much meat salad between layers of steel and glass. In that last, fast flutter of your eyelids, you looking down that long tunnel toward the bright God Light and your dead grandma walking up to hug you--do you want to be hearing another radio commercial for a mega, clearance, closeout, blow-out liquidation car-stereo sale?"

- Chuck Palahniuk, in 'Rant'

Layover

Making love in the sun, in the morning sun
in a hotel room
above the alley
where poor men poke for bottles;
making love in the sun
making love by a carpet redder than our blood,
making love while the boys sell headlines
and Cadillacs,
making love by a photograph of Paris
and an open pack of Chesterfields,
making love while other men- poor folks-
work.
That moment- to this. . .
may be years in the way they measure,
but it's only one sentence back in my mind-
there are so many days
when living stops and pulls up and sits
and waits like a train on the rails.
I pass the hotel at 8
and at 5; there are cats in the alleys
and bottles and bums,
and I look up at the window and think,
I no longer know where you are,
and I walk on and wonder where
the living goes
when it stops.

by Charles Bukowski

porque há dias que não têm manhãs...

e cicatrizes que não se podem disfarçar.

Há um sem fim de momentos que não dão simplesmente para esquecer, tal como os pés frios, tal como um nariz que pinga, como me pingam os olhos. Tal como uma dor de cabeça que persiste e uma solidão tão escura como a de quem não quer ver.

As forças escasseiam, os motivos são mais que muitos. Perdida, no meio de alguém que nunca fui, pergunto-me algum dia vou ser o que quis.

Perdida, perdida, perdida, perdida.

Life is essentially a chess game.

You have to plan and calculate and...

...

I am so lonely.